Change

It seems that most of us struggle with change in one form or another. We are happy or comfortable with the way things are and then when something happens to change our circumstances it is difficult for us. Even before we know how the change will affect us we sometimes panic.

If I have learned anything through studying the books of Esther and Daniel it is in trusting God's sovereignty and time. We are all here because He has purposed us for this very moment in history. None of us are here by mistake; none of us were born too late or too early, we were born exactly when He purposed us. And the events in our lives are not accidental. We can choose to seek His will and destiny for our lives or we can sit by and let life idly pass us.

This season of life has been full of many changes for us. In the last 2 years we have moved, committed to homeschooling (which has been a very long road for us and has not been an easy choice), finding a new church home (again not easy), trying to build friendships (even harder yet). And through it all I have struggled greatly. I think this is why I sat on the fence for so long, it was easy.

My past has made it hard for me to truly find my place in a body of believers. I love, and I mean love Christ with all my being. I love who I am in Him, but there is still this part of me that has a hard time seeing myself the way He sees me. I struggle building new relationships and tend to pull back before I get close to people.

Being unable to see myself as a new creation in Him has made it very hard on me and I truly believe it is part of why I said no to the call to homeschooling for so long. There is still this part of me that feels so out of place in the homeschool community. I believe it is why I have very few true relationships with people at our church. We have lots of people we know, but very few people we "know" and live life with outside of Sunday morning.

I believe it is why I sat on the fence for most of my adult life. Because it was easier, safer. I didn't have to fear rejection. The world accepts me when I'm not living for Him. But that is not what I want even if it is easier. Through all this change there is one constant and that is my Heavenly Father, my Abba. Abba is truth, He is faithful, He is love...and that is enough when my world seems to be spinning out of control.

The hardest part

Well today was the start of week 2 of school. I love our new curriculum but it is definitely proving to be a learning curve for all of us. I think the hardest part is figuring out what to do with Kat. She is 2 this school year so she is much busier than last year. Thankfully our school room is right next to her room so she can play with her toys or watch a movie in my room but she really wants to be with us, only her attention span doesn't allow for her to be quiet for long periods of time. If you know my Kathryn then you know that quiet is not part of her personality. I think she even talks in her sleep. =)

Actually let me correct myself the hardest part of home school to me is still that there is not enough time in a day to do it all. When we took on the call to home school we agreed that I could no longer be so strict about cleaning. It is not possible to vacuum everyday, mop everyday, and so on. And it drives me insane...but I have agreed to only run the vacuum twice a week unless something is spilled and I've agreed to lighten up all around.

I've heard so many mom's with grown children say that if they could change one thing it would be to not worry so much about their house. Instead of having the boys help me clean I would just do it myself because they never did it to my high standards. So now they are just used to me cleaning everything and it has been really hard for them to get used to helping. If I could go back I would have allowed them to clean with me even if it meant that it wasn't perfect.

I have to remind myself daily of a saying I read at my friend's house, My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. Since my kids spend a lot of time in this house I want them to be able to have fun and not worry that mom is going to seize if they make a mess. Besides once they move out I can clean all day everyday...

Blessed

Too often I go through life eagerly anticipating the next stage and not living in the here and now. So as I try teaching my children to notice the good in people and blessings in their lives I am reminded to stop and give thanks and enjoy the good and many blessings in my life.

I have an incredible husband who I love more every day, 4 beautiful children who I love in ways I never knew possible, the best parents and in-laws anyone could ask for, great family & friends, an amazing church family and the list could go on and on. I have way more blessings than I can even count.

Psalm 107:1 - Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever.

Bitter Sweet

Drew decided to play soccer this year and tonight was our second practice. He was so excited because we went to Read's and got his uniform, shin guards, socks, shoe and ball today. And you don't even want to know what that cost me...but that is besides the point. Drew was so excited. I think he would've slept in his new cleats tonight if I would've let him.

If you have never watched Drew play a sport you really should come out some time. He is such a hoot. Probably 75% of the game he is oblivious to what is really going on. In fact I probably heard the other kids on the team tell him over and over again tonight to pay attention. And he's trying, he really is. He wants to be out there and he wants to do good his poor little brain just doesn't always cooperate.

I was watching him tonight thinking how far we have come since those long sleepless nights 11 years ago. With so much uncertainty I didn't know what to expect in the future. And while the future still holds some pretty big uncertainties for Drew I am resting in Papa's hands and no longer worry. But nights like tonight still break my heart.

If you were to look at Drew you probably wouldn't know anything was wrong with him so a lot of times kids just assume that he is dumb or what not and they just say mean things. One little boy tonight told him that he isn't very good at passing the ball and shouldn't try. I wanted to run out there and tell him that we are just grateful that Drew can kick a ball.

Drew's coach is a wonderful man who really seems to be very patient with the kids. And while he has not said anything or done anything to show disapproval in Drew I found myself asking how Drew was doing after practice tonight all prepared to explain his "injury" to the coach. As if explaining him somehow makes people ok with him. If anything sometimes I think it makes them notice things they may not otherwise notice. Either way he said Drew was doing fine and I refrained from giving any details.

Unless you are around him for the everyday little things you would probably never know anything is wrong and for that I'm grateful. But, I know there is always a but, it is bitter sweet because even though he has come so far and beaten so many odds there are things that you don't see. Things like last Friday when I took him for a vaccine booster and ended up having to pull him out of hiding under the table at the Dr and physically restrain him to get a shot. Obviously the nurse didn't read his chart because she was not in the least bit thrilled to have to be a part of our day. She informed him several times that he was too old to behave that way until I finally simply said he has brain injuries and it makes things like this difficult for him to understand.

Or when he asks the same question for the 15th time in a row, or when he can't understand the simplest direction and his 6 year old brother has to show him, or when he says inappropriate things without realizing what he is saying, or when he acts like he is 6 instead of 11 and people think he is a behavior problem, or when he is doing a soccer drill and his brain isn't working fast enough to remember where to run and kick all at the same time that I see his disability and I feel so utterly helpless.

I want to fix it so it is easy for him and he doesn't have to struggle. But really at the end of the day I struggle more than he does. It bothers me more than him that others don't always treat him fairly or don't understand him. He usually doesn't even notice, but I do and I need to just let go and quit worrying about how others are going to behave because as God is showing me at the end of it all I have no control.

Time Away

I had an incredible time away this past week. I spent much quiet time in contemplative prayer and reading my Bible. I have to admit it took a bit to get used to the quiet. I don't think I realized how accustomed I have become to noise.

Many of you have asked what I heard God speaking to me. Well lately I have been struggling with relationships in my life. One specific relationship is that of being a mom to a teenager. I'm learning as a mom to him that I cannot choose his friends, I cannot make good choices for him, I cannot force him to be the man that I want him to be. And I really heard God saying that His ways are not my ways, Isaiah 55:8, and for good reason too.

If I desire for my children to live their life in accordance to God's plan then I must let go of my plans for them and allow God to be in control. I need to learn that I do not have control of so many things in my life but my Father does and He desires to work for my good, Romans 8:28 & Jeremiah 29:11

So I am going to be more intentional about seeking God's desire in my relationships. I'm going to make it a priority to not mold people (specifically my children) or relationships into what I want and just let God direct and guide. My hearts desire is that He be glorified in all relationships in my life. So often we perceive things as good or bad based off our limited earthly view when the Heavenly view might be completely opposite.

The other thing I really focused on this week was "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10. We get so busy and so wrapped up in our lives that sometimes we forget to just be still. To just come to Him and sit quietly in His presence. It doesn't mean that I need to spend all my days in a closet quietly waiting on Him, but I do need to be able to quiet my heart and my mind and just be still with Him. To be in the quiet and not need to be filled with noise and chaos.

To live my life knowing that He is God. To believe that He is whatever I need; comfort, love, peace, assurance, provision - and to live that truth. He is God of all things and will provide all that I need no matter how big or small. I felt as if He was saying even though I have been blessed with much He is sufficient and that ultimately everything else is insignificant. That if He were to offer me anything my only desire would be Him. He is unchanging and will be the one true constant in my life.

He sustains me and He loves me and that is all I need. My prayer for you is that you are able to live in this truth too. To thirst and hunger for Him and to be in love with Him. He is crazy about you, He is so in love with you. He doesn't want your religious acts, He simply wants you. He doesn't want your fancy words and lengthy prayers, he just wants you to be real with Him. He doesn't need you, He loves you. When you start to live out of that love you will be forever changed.

I like your Christ

So a dear friend of mine published a quote by Gandhi that I loved and have been thinking about for the past week.

         I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ - Gandhi

So often we call ourselves Christians but do we truly live the life Christ taught us to live.  We are always quick to say we are Christians and that we follow Christ but do we?  It is easy to say and behave a certain way when you are at church or small group, or with your "Christian" friends.  But what about when nobody is watching.  When you are having a bad day, are in pain, are waiting in line or waiting for test results.  When things don't work out as you had planned, a friend hurts you, a family member does something you wished they hadn't, the waiter forgets to bring you a refill.  Do you still look like your Christ?

I truly believe you will never be transformed until God becomes more than a deity sitting on a throne, more than a set of rules, more than what your religion contains.  He is calling you to more than warming a pew on Sunday, more than joining committees, more than joining a small group, way more than empty rituals that you do only because you are told to.  He is calling you to be the light in this world and to share His love with all you come into contact with.  He is calling you to not only be transformed into the likeness of Christ but to a deeper more personal relationship with Him.  

As a Christian our purpose is to become like Christ.  But you can't become like Christ unless you are daily dying to yourself and living for Him.  I recently saw an online article where a study was done showing how people who have been married for decades actually start to look alike.  Same is true in your Spiritual life, if you continually walk with Christ you will slowly be transformed to look and act like Him.

But here is where our religious training has corrupted our thinking.  We've been taught that there are lists of things that are acceptable and lists of things that aren't.  At the end of the day the only true test is how we love others.  I love how The Message depicts what Christ said in Matthew 11:28-30 - 

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

 You most likely have heard it as in the NIV: 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

He's telling us He doesn't have a long list of rules.  He's not asking you to follow long lists of rules that prevent you from getting to Him.  He wants each of us to be truly transformed and His yoke is easy, love God and love each other.  If you do these two things everything else is fulfilled.  

If we are to call ourselves Christians are people truly seeing Christ in us?

A glimpse of Holy

Last Friday night I experienced God in a way that I've never before experienced Him before.  I felt a nudging in my heart that He was asking me to do something.  Recently I have been so busy I haven't been hearing Him very much.  I've really missed Him.

Well Friday night He showed up and asked me to do something.  I chose to act on what I felt called to do and it is impossible to put into words what He did, the way I felt was so overwhelming.  It brought me to tears, not just small tears but deep from your soul tears, when it happened and just thinking about it now makes me cry.  I felt like I was doing something, in reality He was doing something for me.  I saw Him in a way I have never seen Him before and it did something to me that I can't explain.  I longed to stay in that moment, in His presence.  

If you haven't heard Him speak to you lately, or maybe ever, I would challenge you to open up the Bible, the love letters He sent to us.  Spend time in there daily and then pray and ask Him to show up in your life.  I can't imagine anything worse than never feeling His presence in my life.
    
Psalm 27:4 (The Message)
   I'm asking God for one thing,    
      only one thing:
   To live with him in his house
      my whole life long.
   I'll contemplate his beauty;
      I'll study at his feet.

My Drew

So I ran across something I wrote last year and thought I would share it again.

I'll apologize in advance for the lengthiness.  You all know me, I love to talk so keeping things short and sweet has always been difficult for me, but I tried, I really did.  I stumbled upon an old poem titled Holland the other day (it's attached at the bottom) and it got me thinking a lot, and I felt called to share my thoughts.  

Being a parent is the most challenging and rewarding job in the world, and being a mom of a child with a disability whether it is learning or physical, mild or severe, simply changes the challenges and rewards. We are fortunate that Drew's disabilities are minor compared to many, however for me the unknown of the future that comes with brain injuries is my battle.  

I've learned a lot as a mom to Drew.  I've learned that what makes him special bothers those around him more than it does him.  In fact he doesn't even see himself as "different", he doesn't see the challenges he faces as weakness, he usually doesn't even see defeat.  He doesn't have a good understanding of emotional pain; sadness, loss and even death elude him.  This blesses him even more because 99.9% of the time Drew is happy and LOVES life.  When kids make fun of him or try to hurt him, he still thinks they are his friend and doesn't view their cruelty as it truly is; if asked everyone is his friend!  He sees goodness in people when goodness is hard to find.  

He may not understand all the social norms our society has in place, he may say things that are inappropriate or he may even do things that are inappropriate, but he isn't trying to be defiant, he isn't trying to hurt anyone.  He tends to talk way too loud, get way too excited, but again, he LOVES life, and he loves people.  Drew loves to give hugs, to cuddle and to to be physically close.  He's happiest sitting in the kitchen watching me cook and asking how my day was, while the other boys want to be off playing.  He's compliant and does great with following the rules as long as he knows them.  But don't expect him to just know them or don't assume that he'll get it, because he doesn't always "just get" things.  

Because of his brain injuries the future is still unknown.  All I know is that the God I serve is an amazing and awesome God who can do great things beyond what our limited human knowledge tells us is possible.  When Drew sustained his brain injuries he had 3 major brain bleeds and the outcome was shaky.  Because he had lost all muscle control and was unable to keep his feedings down and his brain had swollen so much with all the bleeding, the Dr.'s told us that he may never walk, he may never talk, and he may never be able to eat normally, with brain injuries you take it one day at a time.  

I was devastated, here was my 5 month old baby that I had huge dreams for and over night it changed.  Why would God let this happen?  Why was He punishing me?  Well, He wasn't punishing me and He didn't just let this happen, He just has plans that are bigger and greater than I could ever imagine.  Drew did walk when he was almost 18 months; he waited until he was almost 3 to talk; and after 6 months of thickening his milk, eating was no longer a concern.  Some of us are flying through life always in a hurry; I like to think that Drew has it all figured out; this life is so good, we need to slow down and enjoy it.  Life is too short to get upset about things and to be too peticular about the small things.  So who cares what the guy next to you thinks, jump up and down for joy, get excited and LOVE life!  

Even though I cried a lot in the beginning and still do occasionally cry for him, most days I find that more than anything I am frustrated with people.  People that get easily annoyed with him, or yell at him for something he can't control.  People who don't understand that just because he knows how to do something doesn't mean he will know those same things tomorrow.  When people think they can lecture him or belittle him and somehow change the way he is.  I want to scream, don't you see that he doesn't understand your anger and he doesn't understand your lectures?


Some days are really good and others not so.  I pray daily for patience and understanding.  I know I'll never fully understand, but when you look back at where we've been and where we could be I'm thankful.  God is good, and when we put our trust and faith in Him, He will always care for us, even when things don’t turn out like we thought they should or how we had planned.  He will always provide and most of all He will never leave us.  No matter how dark or deep the valley, He has seen what is ahead and He has already provided a way if we will simply let go and follow where He is leading us.  There is nothing too big or too little, we just need to lay it His feet; the battle has already been won.

Thank you to everyone; everyone who has helped me by caring for my Drew; for loving him and being patient with him; for teaching him; for listening to me when I needed to vent and needed encouragement.  My prayer for each of you is to build a lasting relationship with our Father in Heaven, if your holding anything back give it to Him and place your trust in Him today.  Romans 8:28:  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  
Love, Allison



                                            Holland


When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland.

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Just a thought

I've been thinking a lot about how difficult this journey of community has been for us and it lead to me to thinking about how it must feel to be a non-believer walking into church for the first time.

I have friends who aren't offended by Jesus as much as they are by people who call themselves Christians.If you've never listened to Casting Crowns before, they are a great band.  Thinking about this topic brings to mind two of their songs, If We are the Body and Can Anybody Hear Her.

The first one has the following lines:

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road
Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ


The second the following:


Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her

If it's been awhile since you reached out to someone or if you've never reached out to someone I strongly encourage you to make it the most important thing on your to-do-list.  There is nothing more important than sharing the love of Jesus.

When we become unapproachable or inclusive then we have lost sight of who He is.

Community

If I were to ask you to define community and what it means to you I wonder what you'd say.  As a body of Christ we talk about it, we preach about it, but do we truly hear it, want it, live it?  For the most part I doubt most of us do.  In fact most people that I know, including myself, don't.

I attended the same church my entire life up until a few years ago when we moved. After moving we decided that spiritually we wanted to live in community, we wanted to have a body of believers to grow, serve and love life with.  We "shopped" for a new home here in Normal.  Finding a new church is not easy, it's like Baskin Robins, there are so many flavors and if you are the kind of person who just loves ice cream you can see good in all of them.  I love Christ, so much, that it is hard for me to not just instantly be in love with a group of people who are also in love with Him.  I want to serve Him every single day I'm alive.

The church we have been attending since August is by most accounts a good fit for our family.  They have a great youth program that Dakota really enjoys attending and is making lots of new friends and building awesome relationships with the leadership.  The three younger ones are also making lots of friends, Kat even looks forward to Sunday mornings now.  There are other homeschooling families attending that we have been blessed to get to know.

I've met many wonderful people, but 8 months into this new journey I don't feel like we are truly iving in community.  With everything going on lately in our lives I have desired those relationships more than ever.  Maybe I'm rushing it, maybe I'm looking for an instant love and connection that is going to take years to build.  But I don't want it to take years, I want to share this incredible journey with other believers now.

I'm afraid that finding a new church home is like moving to a new town your Senior year in high school.  It takes awhile to find your niche and to build relationship. Rome wasn't built in a day right?

Rocking my babies

I have been blessed with the privilege of rocking all my babies.  It is so peaceful and such a wonderful end to any day.  Andy and I were talking the other night about how long we will rock Kat.  She was 2 in January and we still rock her every nap and every night before bed.  As much as she loves it I know I look forward to it just as much.  So for now we will keep rocking her until she no longer wants to be rocked, which I secretly hope is not anytime soon...  

Continue On

Deciding to be a stay at home mom was one of the tougher decisions in my life.  I had a great career at Illinois State University; I loved my job and I loved the people I worked with.  When we started tossing around the idea of me becoming a stay at home mom I was confused.  I counted myself as one of the few people I knew that actually enjoyed their job.

Looking back  it was the best decision ever.  God is showing us how to be good stewards of our finances and resources and He has blessed us immensely because of our decision.

Having said that there are still days that it is hard and on those days as I stand in front of the mirror at 2:00 in the afternoon realizing that I haven't even showered yet nor have I had the privilege of going to the bathroom without a single interruption I find myself going to the refrigerator and reading Continue On, something my sister-n-law sent me some time ago.

Continue On

by Roy Lessin

A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life.

She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother.

She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband

and children would make a difference.

At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did

seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.

" Is it worth it?" she often wondered.

"Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?"

It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard

the still small voice of her Heavenly Father speak to her heart.

" You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be.

Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye.

But I notice.

Most of what you give is done without remuneration.

But I am your reward.

Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be withour your support.

Your influence upon him is greater than you think

and more powerful than you will ever know.

I bless him through your service and honor him through your love.

Your children are precious to me.

Even more precious than they are to you.

I have entrusted them to your care to raise for me.

What you invest in them is an offering to me.

You may never be in the public spotlight.

But your obedience shines as a bright light before me.

Continue on.

Remember you are My servent.

So do all to please me."

Peanut Butter Playdough

So if you've never made homemade playdough you really should. The kids love it cause they can make little cookies and pizzas and eat it. I wouldn't recommend eating a lot as they might get a tummy ache from all the sweet but it is in now way toxic.

2 c Peanut Butter
2 c Powdered Sugar
1 c honey
Lots of Fun

The Butterfly

There's a story I heard years ago about a child who discovered a butterfly struggling mightily to escape its cocoon through a tiny opening at the top. The little boy became worried that the butterfly seemed to be struggling too much and was afraid that it would die so he enlarged the hole. On its next try, the butterfly was able to come out easily.

The little boy's excitement quickly turned to horror when he saw the wings were shriveled and useless. His well-intentioned help had interrupted a natural process. What the little boy didn't know is that the struggle to emerge from the cocoon is nature's way of drying and strengthening the butterflies wings. By removing the struggle he deprived the butterfly of strong wings.

Often our struggles in life are a lot like the butterflies. It is during those moments of struggling that God will teach us some of our greatest lessons and if we fail to see the lesson or look for the easy way out we will not gain the strength He intended for us.

From personal past struggles I've learned that I need to daily depend on God for my every need. I need to daily be filled with the Holy Spirit and the Word. Walking with God daily does not mean that struggles don't hit, but it does mean that when they do hit God is providing my every need. He is so faithful and good!!

Running on coffee

Today is going to be a day of running on coffee. Ms. Kathryn came down with a fever right before bed last night. Of course that meant she had a difficult time sleeping, so she slept most of the night with me holding her. I was really praying she would wake up fever free, instead she woke up with a fever higher than during the night.

She is so good natured, even when she is sick and not feeling well. The big challenge is just trying to homeschool the boys when I have a cling-on. It's a good thing she is still light enough that she can still fit in her sling which allows me free hands.

Hopefully we can get outside for some fresh air later. It is suppose to be in the 60's today. I am so ready for nice weather. Winters are getting harder and harder to get through each year.

It's not a circle it's an oval

As we were doing math this morning I was giving Tannin directions and I mistakingly said, "Draw your marks inside the circle." With a serious little face he looked at me and said, "It's not a circle, it's an oval". He was right, it wasn't a circle, it was an oval.

Tannin's correction this morning was minor and easy to accept.  However, it isn't always so easy to accept a correction when we are wrong.  Sometimes we let pride get in the way, rather than see our error and apologize if necessary, we become defensive and escalate the situation.

Learning humility is a difficult lesson but one that we will reap many benefits and blessings from, especially as role models to our children. It's ok and I believe even important that our children see we that are not perfect. Maybe even more important is they see their parents admit to their mistakes, seek forgiveness when needed, and strive to do better.

As parents we often find ourselves living the motto "Do what I say, not what I do." Maybe we should instead live by the motto "Seek what I seek, and strive for what I'm striving for".

Romans 8:28

So many times I've told others going through difficult circumstances that our God is an amazing and incredible God and that what Satan means for evil, if we allow Him, our God will use for His good. I have clung to Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose". With all the evil and bad things that happen in this world it is so incredible to have hope and faith in our Heavenly Father that He can work good through ALL things; not just some, but all.

I think the hardest part of believing in Romans 8:28 is we aren't always allowed a heavenly view of these circumstances while on this earth. Sometimes the answer is apparent and immediate, other times we may wait days, months or even years before see His plan and some of us may never see the plan until we get to Heaven. But beloved can you imagine seeing it for the first time without the blinders of this earth, but to see it from the Holy's eyes. While it may at times be difficult to wait and to suffer on this earth we have to remember that this life is temporary and His peace and strength will sustain us through the most unbearable of situations.

I'm often reminded of the story of a mission named George Smith. George had been in Africa for a brief time when due to violent circumstances was forced to return home. He left behind one saved woman and intended to return but died before he was able. Years later a group of missions discovered the area George Smith had been. They not only found a copy of the Scriptures George had left behind but they met the saved woman and through the providence of God they discovered more than 13,000 saved men and women. Imagine the view George had from the heavenly's as he saw what his circumstance produced. What he must have viewed as failure on this earth our Heavenly Father used to bring thousands into His arms.

Recently while working on homework from Esther, a Beth Moore study I'm currently involved in, I felt that God was showing me exactly how He has taken something that Satan meant for my destruction and is using it to further His kingdom. I've never been able to see any good come from the Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) that Drew suffered. I've trusted God and I've given it to Him and asked Him to use it for good, to glorify Him. I always assumed that someday I would speak to young parents about the dangers of SBS or work with families who have been victimized by SBS, and maybe someday I will, however I've recently seen just how God has used this to glorify Him. We are a Christian homeschooling family because of Drew's injury.

Due to the difficulty Drew has had in the public education system we felt after years of prayer that God was calling us as a family to homeschool. At first I thought I was hearing Him wrong, but before long it was undeniable that this crazy notion was not so crazy after all but a call from God. So we are not only educating our children in the basics of math, language arts, science and so on, but we are daily educating them about God. It is so incredible to watch them grow and to know that God is guiding us and is going to use this homeschool opportunity to raise up hearts for Him. Our God is an amazing and incredible God.

He's waiting

Where is God?  I cried out to Him, I opened His book and read it, I even went to church.  Why didn't He answer me?  Where is this peace He promises?

I knew who He was because I grew up in a Disciples of Christ church, was dedicated as a baby, went to Sunday School, Youth group, was baptized; I knew all the stories, knew what it meant to be saved - but I never lived it.  It was kind of like saying that I know tylenol will relieve my headache and then taking a skittle instead.

But back to the beginning, even though I'm not sure when the beginning started.  I had been unhappy for as long as I could remember.  I never liked myself, I felt like I always messed things up and made people mad more than happy.  I guess I never really felt loved.  Don't hear me wrong, I was loved, I just never felt loved.

Growing up was hard for me.  I wasn't comfortable in my in own skin so it was almost impossible to be comfortable or happy anywhere I was.  I had never fit in much at school.  I had a few friends that I associated with, but was never really close to anyone.  My home life was difficult, Dad and I fought a lot.  He loved me and showed that love the only way he knew how - he provided for me and his discipline consisted of a strong hand and belt.  I never saw love in that.  The more I desired his approval the less I felt it was there.

In 5th grade I felt the best way to cope and find control in my life was through the identity of bulimia.  I was fortunate that my eating disorder was discovered early and my parents put me in St. Francis hospital for 3 months of in-patient treatment and then 3 months of out-patient treatment when I was in the 6th grade.  From that point on it felt as if my life spiraled out of control.  By the time I was in high school I continued making destructive choices.  It was as if I went from one thing to the next, always hurting myself and those close to me in the process.

When I was 16 I found myself pregnant with my oldest son, Dakota.  Dakota was born October of my senior year.  Despite having a baby my senior year I maintained a job and a high GPA.  I was fortunate to be able to keep him and graduate high school with my classmates.  While things looked like they were good inside I was dying.

When I was 20 my life literally changed over night.  I was married, Dakota was 2 and Drew was just a few months old.  It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon in May when Drew had a seizure and quit breathing. To make a long story short after weeks of testing I was told by a callused Dr. that my baby was a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome. He had 3 major brain bleeds, a fracture in his wrist and rib and blood on his retinas.  Not only was Drew's future unknown but my now ex-husband was the likely suspect.

Over night my children were taken from me, I was told that the man I had vowed to spend my life with had abused our son and because my mom was their foster parent I couldn't be within 500 feet of her when she was with my children. I was utterly alone and very depressed. I wasn't sure that life was worth living. Mom would call and Dakota would be crying and begging me to come get him and all I could say is "Mommy can't" and I would cry myself to sleep.

I begged God to give me peace. I promised Him everything I had if He would just give me peace, and yet it never came. It took me a year to get full custody of my boys back. And during that year I felt more distant than ever from God, I started to question if He was really out there.

But there was this strange feeling that he was pursing me.  I can't fully put my hand on it now anymore than I could then.  I just had this sense even as I doubted His existence that He was patiently waiting for me, longing for me to come back to Him and be in relationship with Him.

I eventually started going to church again; reading my Bible, doing book studies and asking our Pastor a gazillion questions. Over the last 4 years my faith has grown at an exponential rate. Today I have a faith that brings me an overwhelming peace and a personal relationship with God that is more real than anything I have ever known.  My life isn't always easy and it is far from perfect, but through my relationship with God I am changed forever.  I never want to go back to living a life without Him in control.

Even after I discovered that relationship and felt His presence in my life it always bothered me why when I cried out to Him I didn't feel Him so many years before. During a nightly Bible study a few months ago God answered this lingering question for me. I was reading First Samuel chapter 1.

The gist of the story is that Hannah was childless, and she prayed and asked God for a son. She promised God that if He gave her a son, she would give the child back to Him when the child was weaned. When God searched Hannah's heart He knew her to be faithful and true and blessed her with a son, Samuel. And when Samuel was weaned she gave him back to God and Samuel worshiped God.

Wow, that is powerful. As a mom I can't even imagine how hard that must have been for Hannah to leave Samuel at Shiloh. And then I thought back to when I asked God for peace and all the promises I made Him. And I knew instantly that when He searched my heart He knew that I was not faithful and true. He knew that I didn't want a relationship with Him, I just wanted a quick fix.

He never left me, He was there all along, I was the one that was absent.  I didn't want to to change my life; I just wanted an easy out. It wasn't God who failed me; it was me who had failed God.

I don't know where you are on your spiritual walk, but what I do know is where God is.  He is right there next to you.  He is waiting for you to give yourself to Him no strings attached.  Not so He can fix your problems, but so you can experience the greatest, most true relationship you will ever know.

He'll take every step but the last one.  But don't think you can just give Him the leftovers, or the easy parts of your life.  He wants it all, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.  He's never left, He never will and He'll never force you to choose Him.

You may be able to fool those around you, but you'll never fool God. Is your heart of this world, cause if it is you won't clearly hear His voice.  Stop and listen, God is calling your name.  Will you answer?

New School Room

So I finally got around to making an "official school room".  It is something I've wanted for sometime.  Even though our kitchen table works fairly well it is often a pain as we have to clean up the table for lunch, then get it back out after lunch and then have it cleaned up by supper.  This is especially difficult if we are working on projects.  It would be really nice to just have a space that is designated for school stuff.  A room where we can hang stuff on the walls and a central location for all of our supplies.

Well Drew and Tannin had been wanting to sleep in each others rooms every night so I finally decided that I would put them together in Drew's room and make Tannin's room a school room.  It was a long process last weekend but it is almost complete.  Saturday we will get the table to go in there and then we will be able to use it as our official school room.  The kids seem to be really excited about it.  It is so fun to see them excited about learning.  They are already spending a lot of time in there with the books and learning toys.

We've also been looking at curriculum for next year.  We have decided that what we are using this year isn't working for anyone.  After much thought and prayer we have decided to go with My Father's World.  I'm really excited about it because I think it will give the boys more opportunities to do stuff together as well as to do more hands on and less of the mundane paper and pen exercises.

One of the greatest joys of homeschooling is the ability to be flexible and try new things.  I've never been so excited for a new school year to start, but it is safe to say I'm anxiously awaiting next August!

Do not be afraid

As my appointment with the endo approaches tomorrow morning I would normally be afraid right now.  Preparing myself for the worst, anxiously awaiting the news that would change our lives forever.  And yet I'm not.  I know that when I lay down tonight I will sleep sound and will go to Champaign tomorrow and regardless of what I find out I know that I will be fine.

God has surrounded me with His peace in so many ways.  Through friends and family, through His word, through our quiet times together and through the Esther study.  In fact Esther was postponed last week because of the weather so our message last night came a week late.  But the message is very clear, "Do not be afraid, I am in control".  Knowing that He is in control and believing that He is in control are two very different things.

Do you know what the most repeated command in the Bible is?  Most people guessed it had something to do with loving our neighbors or be kind to one another, surely it has something to do with the 10 commandments.  Actually it doesn't, the most repeated command in the Bible is "Do not fear/be afraid".  God says this hundreds of times in both the Old and New Testament.

I don't think that God is saying we should never be afraid, but I do think that He is saying that we should not let our fears rule our lives.  Beth Moore had an awesome fill in the blank lesson last night.  If _________, then God.  Take whatever fear is ruling you and put it in that blank.  Nothing you can come up with can trump God.  We serve a mighty and good God that cares for us so profoundly that over 2000 years ago He stepped down from His throne to not only be with us but to save us.  No matter what fear you have God will provide the strength and the courage needed to overcome it.

I personally never realized what a stronghold the evil one had on me when it came to my fear of something happening to me and leaving my children without a mother and my husband without a wife.  But by saying If I die, then God, it puts it into a perspective that I can manage.  I know that my God loves me and cares for me enough that even if I got the worst possible news He would carry me through and would provide a way for my family and I.  He must have known that we would have a lot of fear ruling over us, so much that He tells us over and over and over, "Do not fear/be afraid".

Thank you Dana @ Except for Mondays for this fun award.  I love your blog!!  

7 (interesting) facts about me:

1. I gave my life to Jesus Christ and am blessed through Him everyday.
2. I love homeschooling my 4 children even though people look at me like I've lost my mind (and sometimes ask me that) when I tell them about it.
3. I haven't bought a new out from a department store for me in over 3 years.  I seem to only shop at Goodwill or will occasionally buy a clearance shirt at Old Navy.
4. I am starting a juice fast today.  They are good for physical and spiritual needs.  I'm looking for both.
5. I hate strict schedules.  I have a hard time sticking to plans they usually change at least 3 times.  It drives those around me insane.
6. I have a passion for people.  I love people and desire to make a difference in others lives.
7. I hate materialism.  The happiest people I know are blessed with family and friends and could care less about keeping up with the Joneses next door.  The trouble with the rat race is even if you win you are still a rat.  

And I nominate in alphabetic order : (I know I was suppose to do 7 but I only have 5)

• Dana @ Except for Mondays (I know you nominated me but I LOVE your blog)
• Dana @ Gateau - Cakes by Dana
• Olive Jude @ Jude's Blog
• Pastor David @ Your Pastor Dude
• Wendy@ The Short Story

So here's what you need to do:

• Thank the person who nominated you and copy the award in your blog
• Link the person who nominated you for this award
• Share seven interesting things about yourself
• Nominate seven fellow bloggers and add the links to their blogs

For I know the plans I have for you

What an awesome, relaxing weekend.  Andy and I were able to sneak away to the city for 3 nights and just enjoy each other.  I knew we needed "us" time, but I don't think I really knew how much we needed it until we got there.  

The weekend came at great timing.  Last week I had some blood work and the blood work was abnormal which means more testing...  It's crazy how fast life can change.  I'm sure that everything will be ok, in fact I know that everything will be ok no matter what the outcome because I know my Father.

If you know me at all you know that I am usually one who gets all bent out of shape when something is wrong with my health.  I'm not a fan of Doctors, I worry about treatment, I worry about illness without cure, I worry about death.  But not this time, I know my Father already has plans, He already has it all worked out.  

On our way home from Chicago today though I started to worry, I felt that old uncomfortable feeling sneaking in.  And God said Jeremiah 29:11.  I even said it out loud.  For those of you who have never heard this verse it is one of my favorites; For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  

When I came home I felt the need to refresh my mind of what followed Jeremiah 29:11 ~

Jeremiah 29:11-14 (New International Version)
 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.  I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

How incredible is it to know that the God of this world will listen to us when we call upon Him and come to Him in prayer.  How incredible is it that no matter what the circumstances we find ourselves in His plans are to prosper us and not to harm us.

As long as we are on this earth there is going to be pain and suffering.  The world we live in is broken but the God we serve is mighty and powerful and if we allow Him access He will provide through any circumstance.  Whether that be bad test results, job loss, financial crisis, death, __________(insert whatever brokenness you are experiencing).  

God's outcome may not be the outcome we would have chosen but if you are anything like me past experiences tell me that is a good thing.  At the time my way has looked like the better choice.  Fast forward a few years and I am able to look back and say yeah, He was there in control and wow did He know what He was doing and wow was I foolish.  His ways are not my ways and for good reason.  Isaiah 55:8 says ~  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

So I am placing it all in His hands and encourage you to do the same.  I am trusting that the plans He has are to prosper me and not to harm me.  I am trusting my Father, even when the world around me and sometimes my own mind says otherwise.  

Relationships with no expectations

In church one Sunday morning we were talking about families and how a family isn't just your biological family, but also your spiritual family and the community as a whole; composed of many different relationships. And after coming home and thinking about this more it really started me thinking about how much we are lacking in relationships. How we are created for relationship, in fact the first problem that God addressed in the Bible was that of loneliness. From the very beginning we needed relationship, created in God's image. Adam was lonely, so God created a suitable helper for him, and God was in complete, perfect relationship with Adam and Eve before the fall. And we have longed for that perfect relationship ever since.

Thinking about how important relationships are to God I started wondering how often we truly form relationships with people.  I think we tend to form expectations, a give and take sort of bartering system: the mentality of I'll be friends with you as long as I am gaining something from the relationship; as long as you continue to behave a certain way; as long as it doesn't cost me anything; as long as you make me feel worthy.... Relationships with expectations are messy and I promise that as humans we will continue to disappoint each other and never live up to each others expectations.

How about this for a change, what if you loved someone with no strings attached. What if you helped someone out with no expectation of repayment, I mean really none, not even a thank you was necessary. What if you genuinely liked people because of who their Maker was; one of the greatest characteristics of Christ in my opinion is that He liked people. He was in constant relationship with people. He didn't sit in the synagogue waiting for them to come find Him, He met them where they were in life and loved them. This was one of the biggest criticisms of Him from the religious leaders of his time, He befriended tax collectors, prostitutes and drunkards? Should we not do the same?

Want to know God? Look to Jesus. And if people want to see Jesus today, shouldn't they be able to recognize Him in us. Are you in true relationships? Are you putting yourself out there with no expectation of repayment other than the joy you will get from loving? Are you loving people right where they are, regardless of who they are or what they can or can't do for you?

God has blessed us as a people beyond words. We need to take those blessings out into the world. Lose the expectations and ask God to fill you with His love and to guide you in true relationships.

25 Random things about me

1. I gave my life to Jesus Christ and am abundantly blessed because of it. Everyday I am learning what it means to die to this world so that I may live for Him. The best part of a blessed life through Him is it is free, all you have to do is ask, He already paid the price for us.

2. My dad is older than most of my friend's Grandpa's. He will be 80 in August. Please don't ask if he is really that old, I wouldn't make this up, I worry about his health as he ages and wish he was younger so he could do more with us, I'm not ready for him to be "old".

3. I'm the only girl of 7. My dad has 5 boys from his first marriage. And yes my oldest brother is 55, and yes I know that makes him old enough to be my dad. And yes I know that he is only 6 years younger than my mom. And just in case you haven't done the math further, yes my mom is 19 years younger than my dad. Again don't ask, I'm not lying.

4. I am married to the most wonderful man. Not only is Andy an awesome husband but he is a truly awesome father. He loves his "bonus children" as his own and is magnificent with them.

5. The LORD has blessed with me four beautiful children. Dakota is 13, Drew is 11, Tannin is 6 and Kathryn is 2. They grow too fast, hard to believe we have a teenager in our home.


6.  My mom is one of my best friends.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful role model to strive to be like.

7. Dakota's dad Josh is also one of my best friends. A lot of people don't understand our friendship and that is ok. Him and Andy are great friends as well. He has lived with us when he was in between homes, he babysits our children and we babysit his daughter. You might think we're strange but to me we are just one big family. I guess society finds it normal to fight and argue over whose weekend it is, who had the child on Christmas last year, how much child support needs to be paid. I say if we can get along, who are you to judge. Dakota has never spent a Christmas without both of us, he has never had to celebrate a birthday with only one of us, he sees his dad whenever he can instead of just 4 days a month. In the end he benefits more than anyone.

8. I am not a very scheduled person. Strict schedules drive me nuts, I think being too scheduled causes too much stress. Plans tend to change a lot and it is hard for me to commit to things, and I'm usually late, but life is not static. It drives most people in my life insane, but for me it makes life easier to just go with the flow.

9. I want so badly to travel to other countries but I HATE flying! I'm claustrophobic and feel like I can't breathe when I'm on a plane.

10. I went back to school to get my associates a few years ago. I only need 3 classes to finish and have a 4.0. I felt God calling me to be home with my children so here I am.

11. I love to write. I write random things and never do anything with them, they usually end up in the garbage.

12. I have the best mother-n-law in the world. I love that when my girlfriends complain about theirs I can brag about mine! I tell her all the time that she could put Martha Stewart out of business, there is nothing she can't do. I always tell Andy that she has big shoes to fill and I will never come close to hers.

13. Aside from being a mom, being a camp counselor at our local church summer camp have been the most gratifying jobs in my life. And I don't get paid for either.

14. My brother is one of the most amazing people I know. He is gifted in so many ways and has never conformed to what others thought he should be.

15. Don't be offended if I forget your name or something we've done. Chances are if you told me something and I didn't write it down, I've already forgotten. Without my calendar I'd be lost, and if I forget to put it on my calendar then, I probably wasn't there or made other plans. On the positive, it makes me good at keeping secrets.

16. I love to read and hate to watch television. Andy is the exact opposite.

17. My middle name is Ragene, chances are you just pronounced it Renne, most people do. I still don't know where my dad came up with that.

18. My daughter is named after one of the greatest women I know, my grandmother. I am so blessed to have so many great memories of her. Now my daughter will be blessed to have many great memories with two wonderful grandmothers.

19. I wanted another boy when I was pregnant with my daughter, God knows better, I can't imagine my life without her and can't wait to do "girlie" things with her.

20. Dakota makes me feel young and old at the same time. Laying on his bed talking to him I feel like I'm still 13, and then I remember that I'm 30. Hard to believe that I've had him for 13 years already.

21. I hated the name Tannin when Andy suggested it. I had made up my mind that when I filled out the birth certificate I was going to name him Kayden Everett Nelson. Not sure why but I didn't and today I love the name.

22. I get frustrated when people don't understand Drew. I've made it a resolution to stop apologizing for him and to quit feeling the need to explain him. If he upsets someone it is no longer my job to make them ok with him, my job is to love him and except him.

23. I love animals and think all children should have a pet of some sort. I think animals are smarter than some people I know. :) And animals will always love you and never judge.

24. I hate riding in elevators. It drives Andy bonkers but I will take the stairs if at all possible.

25. I am a germ-a-phobic. I use way too much lysol in my house.  I am getting better but chances are if you've been here and were sick I noticed everything you touched and sprayed it after you left.

Staying Connected

John 15: 5-8 says "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you." (NIV)  In the message the last part of verse 5 says, "Separated, you can't produce a thing."  

While building the log cabin in Mississippi one of my jobs was to help cut the decking.  I have to admit it was rather exhilarating using the circular saw.  =)  At one point after getting all the decking cut I filled in momentarily for one of the workers installing the decking.  My job was to hold the board in place while Becky used the nail gun to secure it, only the nail gun did not fire.  We eventually traced the problem to a line that came unhooked.  Becky smiled and said it helps if your connected to the source.

As she said this I couldn't help but think of how true that is for us spiritually too.  Just as the nail gun cannot do what it was designed to do without being properly attached to an air compressor, we will never do what we have been designed to do if we are not connected to Jesus.  

Jesus knew that it was vital for us to stay connected to Him.  In John 15: 5-8 He compares that connection to a living vine and makes it clear what happens when we are not connected to His life giving vine; separated, you can't produce a thing.  Our connection to Jesus not only allows us to do what we were designed to do, it also has eternal implications.  

I once read that to stay connected to Jesus we simply needed to:

Scripture - Read the scriptures daily - He gave us His Word so we could know Him.
Time - Spending time in community with other believers, spending time in the Word, spending time serving others, spending time building relationships.
Attitude - Do people see Jesus alive and active?  
You - Daily, minute by minute you make the choice to stay connected to Jesus.

It doesn't have to be rigid, or difficult, you don't have to buy expensive books or attend a mega church; simply choose stay connected to Jesus everyday.  Seek Jesus for guidance, seek Him for comfort, seek Him for assurance, seek Him for love, seek Him for approval.  By choosing to stay connected you will bear much fruit; separated, you can't produce a thing.

Mission Mississippi

Wow...  That one word says so much about our mission trip to Mississippi.  I know I was going to blog while I was down there, however by the time I had free time I was drained and ready for bed, sleep won over blogging.  =)  Since we've been home there has been so many times I've thought I really need to blog, but got busy with life - kids, hubby, house, laundry, school - it consumes me.  

Today however my wonderful hubby is off work and I decided to take my laptop and sneak off into our room and write.  It is funny how it is so hard to find the time to sit and here and write, but once I do it is so relaxing and much needed.  I love writing, always have.  I think part of the difficulty with blogging about the mission trip is I'm not sure where to start and where to end.  God was and is so incredible that it is really hard to put some of this to words.  I don't want to leave anything out, but I also don't want you to get bored and stop reading, so stay with me.  

God provided in so many ways, even before we left.  Back in the planning stage there was a moment where we questioned even going after having said yes.  At one of the meetings we found out that the plan was to divide into women and men for sleeping arrangements.  Well this normally wouldn't be a problem, but with us being so new to Crosswinds and not really knowing people along with the fact that this would mean Andy had to manage 3 kids while I only had 1 and the lack of privacy (Andy is pretty private) it was a concern.  We decided to turn it over to God and asked for His guidance.  We agreed to give it to God around 9ish Monday evening and by Tuesday early afternoon I had an email saying that family rooms would be available to those who wanted them.  Back on!

We left for Mississippi on Saturday after Christmas.  God was gracious in holding off that slow moving storm (it eventually dumped 8 inches of snow) until we were all out of the area.  There were 42 of us total that went from Crosswinds, no car trouble, no accidents, no injuries, no sickness!  His hands were all over us.

Financially we found out we were within around $12 of the money the church had determined we needed to raise to go. In fact at one point while building the cabin it was discovered that money was needed to finish the deck, God literally provided the money the day it was needed.  

Now imagine 42 people working together, living together, sharing 2 showers and a stackable washer/dryer!!  We had schedules for everything and it worked phenomenally!  We signed up each night for a 15 minute shower, we had teams that took turns doing breakfast, lunch, dinner and cleaning up the church.  We worked together on the job site like we all had done this before (some had) and knew exactly what we were doing.  Nobody complained or argued, it was obvious we were all being led by the hand of God.  It may not sound that amazing, but believe me it was.

Within a week we went from a foundation to a log cabin, roof and all.  Not only did we build a log cabin, but we built relationships.  I loved what Pastor Nelson Roth from the church that hosted us said, "Here we see the hands and feet of Jesus in action. Just serving and blessing folks here in Mississippi. And what a great thing it is to see, how the Lord keeps working and blessing and doing good things here after such a horrible storm,".

If your interested there are lots of pictures posted by church members, http://c3missionmississippitrip2009.shutterfly.com/19.