Fear

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears. ~ Rudyard Kipling

Fear is paralyzing, destructive and one of the evil one's greatest weapons. You can't live if you are living in fear. You can't fulfill God's will in your life if you are stuck in fear. I was talking with one of my mentor's last night and we were discussing how fear paralyzes us. How easy it is to become a victim of fear and not even know it. How something that may seem so insignificant could be keeping you from living out God's purpose for you.

For my dear friend, he found that his fear was actually his calling. And knowing him, I can't imagine him doing any other job than what he is currently doing. He is so perfectly suited for the job and is a daily blessing to those in he serves through our awesome God.

There are many fears; fear we aren't good enough, fear we will fail, fear of death, fear of pain... I could type for days of all the fears that exist in this world. But what is greater to talk about is the one who can conquer our fear.

Isaiah 41:10 says “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” When we fear the future Jesus reminds us that our God who is mighty and powerful cares for the birds of the air, therefore how much more will He provide for His children? “So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” Matthew 10:31.

In Psalm 56:11 the psalmist writes, “In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” This is how we should live our lives, through the power of trusting God. No matter what happens on this earth, the psalmist knows his God is more powerful than any fear.  Our God is bigger than any fear we may entertain.

Trusting God is not as simple as just saying I trust Him. It is a daily choice, it is knowing Him personally and choosing to walk with Him every day of your life. To put the things of this world aside and to choose God. Once you choose God and learn to put your trust in God, you will no longer be afraid of the things of this world that come against you. Whether those things be something as small as spiders or as big as cancer.

God did not create us to live in fear, rather he created us to live in confidence and to walk with the strength only He can provide. "Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared." Proverbs 3:25-26. If you don't know the story of Job I encourage you to open your Bible and read it. For even Job knew through all his trials that God was good when he said, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him” Job 13:15a.

So what is the key to overcoming fear? Total and complete trust and confidence in God. By trusting God you are refusing to give into fear, no matter how big that fear may seem. No matter how dark it may seem, you can trust God's sovereignty. This trust comes through knowing God and knowing His goodness. Things may seem their darkest at times while we walk this earth, but those who walk with the LORD don't walk in darkness. Ephesians 5:8 tells us "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light."

What a great Sunday afternoon

I guess having been down from surgery for the past few days has kinda gotten me in a bit of a funk.  I'm a busy body, I like to be doing things, I like to be on the go when possible.  Bless my husband, he knows this, so he took us hiking Sunday.  Yeah, hiking 5 days after surgery probably wasn't the smartest thing.  I mean it isn't like I climbed Mt. Everest, we just walked around Comlara Lake.  Even though we walked at Kat's pace, as Miss. Independent felt she should be able to walk and not be carried, I still paid for it last night.

The colors were so beautiful.  Kat was having so much fun playing with the brightly colored leaves.  The boys had a blast just running up and down the trails with the dog and hiding from each other.  It was fun to just be out enjoying God's creation.  He really has created a beautiful world.  Every time I start getting down all I need to do is look outside and look at the beauty He created all around us, it truly is incredible.

When we finished hiking we came home and carved pumpkins.  The kids really had a good time carving pumpkins.  Andy wasn't thrilled as he is allergic to pumpkins.  We usually get field pumpkins from a friend of dad's, but this year we didn't and bought them from the Jewel Osco.  Field pumpkins have way more guts than the store bought kind.  Made for a much better outcome on Andy's poor hands.  Tannin did feel cheated, he was expecting way more guts and was kind of sad.
 

Heavenly Surprises

What a crazy 24 hours.  I hadn't been feeling the greatest the last few days, Tuesday morning my pain got so bad I asked my husband to take me to the emergency room, 13 hours later I was in surgery having my appendix removed.  It is amazing how fast things can happen.

Makes you stop and think about how fast life can change.  I guess I get so caught up and busy in my life that I don't always take the time to stop and smell the flowers.  I know that is pretty cliche but it really is true.  I lose out on so much every single day because I'm so busy that I don't even notice all the wonders and exciting things that our Holy and Amazing God has created for us.

I talked with a dear friend, Pastor Dwight, today and he told me that he was praying that God will surprise me with something today.  And it really made me think about all the heavenly surprises He has given me that I've never even noticed.  If your a parent you can totally relate to this.  You find something or do something for your child that you think is super fun or super cool and they don't even notice.

And it hurts when it goes unnoticed.  You didn't do it for the recognition, you did it so your child would be surprised with something and get enjoyment from it.  You anticipated their pleasure or joy from this unexpected surprise and when they don't notice you are hurt because you didn't get to see the joy in them.  It was never for you, but always for them.

I wonder if God feels the same way when I don't slow down and notice all the wonders He places in front of me.  I wonder if He is looking down on me saying, "Child if you would just take the time to look I have so much for you, so much I want to share with you".

Cause I truly believe that one of God's greatest desires is to enjoy me and for me to enjoy Him.  To think that He loves me and will never let go of me is really all I need at the end of the day.  He has blessed me beyond words with a husband like no other; 4 incredibly smart & fun children; the best parents a kid could ask for; an amazing brother; and friends that I cherish more each passing year.

I fell in love with this awesome new song today by Britt Nicole, Set the World on Fire.  There is such truth in her lyrics.  I pray every day that God will take me and use me, in big and small ways.  I can't think of anything better than standing before Him and hearing "Well done good and faithful servant"

My baby is 13

So as I sit here typing this my baby is officially 13.  He turned 13 yesterday and I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around that.  13 years ago life sure was different, I was a 17 year old girl that really had no idea where her life was headed and really didn't have a plan on how I was going to get wherever it was I was going.

Today I'm 30 and  while somedays I feel like that 17 year old girl, life is really good.  God blessed me with such wonderful parents growing up.  I remember the day I told them I was pregnant with Dakota.  Had it not been for them, especially my mom, I wouldn't be the mom that I am today.  They never once suggested anything other than keeping him from the beginning.  While I'm sure it wasn't what they had hoped for they stood by and supported me.  I never realized it at the time, but looking back I can see how they really put their lives on hold so that Dakota could have the best start to his.

I was fortunate that I had done well enough in school that I was able to go to school part time and still graduate with my class.  In fact my GPA my senior year was a 4.0, if only I had tried that hard my previous 3 years.  Mom took care of Dakota on the days I was in school,  she helped me with him at night, she helped me with him when he was sick.  If Josh and I both had to work the same hours, you guessed it, she watched him for us.  She was always there when I needed her.

She was always self-sacrificing, the true meaning of the word.  If you ever want to see the love of Jesus active on this earth you can see it through the way my mom raised us kids, and still raises her grandkids today.  We were always first, always cared for, and yet she disciplined us and taught us manners.  She also taught us how to love God.  She read my Bible to me, she took me to church and all the youth functions.  More often than not she went without so we could have.

So as I sit here reflecting on the last 13 years one thing was constant, the love from my parents.  If I ever questioned anything it was never their love for me.  And I pray that my kids feel the same.  That as Dakota enters these ever so difficult and trying years as a teenager that he knows without a doubt that he is loved and that he is always safe at home.

What will you do with Jesus?

Each of us whether we realize it or not has made a decision about Jesus.  We are each faced with the question of "What will you do with Jesus?" even if it has never been presented to us in that form.  Deep down we all know that we have chosen either directly or indirectly by the way we live our lives.

Jesus is not something that you can make all pretty and fit neatly into a little box to sit on your night stand.  He is not something that you can pick and create to make Him "work:" for you.  He is not something that you can choose to do when it works for you.  He is not something that is a quick fix for something gone wrong.

Some people want to follow a Jesus that they've created, a Jesus who will not interfere with their life; their plans, their time, especially not their sins.  Rather their Jesus is a quiet, polite kinda guy who just smiles at everything they do.  He tends to be their co-pilot rather than their way of life.  Sadly this Jesus cannot save them because this Jesus does not exist.

This Jesus is more comfortable because he doesn't require you to look in the mirror and see all the ugliness and filth that sin has left behind.  This Jesus doesn't require you to be unpopular with your friends or co-workers or sometimes even your family.  This Jesus doesn't require you to change your life plans, to give up your dreams and follow his call.  This Jesus does not exist.

Each of us must decide which Jesus we will follow and we must realize that this decision will have eternal consequences.  We cannot just "wash our hands" of Jesus.  So the question I ask again is "What will you do with Jesus?".  Will you try to recreate Him to work for you, will you just ignore Him or will you go pick up your Bible and know Him.

The real Jesus will never fit in a perfect little box all neat and tidy and stand idly by while you live a life of your choosing.  The real Jesus was born to a virgin in a stable over 2000 years ago.  He walked this earth divine and in relationship with all kinds of people from all areas of life.  He died on the cross for you and for me and He rose from the dead 3 days later.  This Jesus is real and waiting for you to welcome Him into your life.  This Jesus wants a relationship with us and will save us.

Are you cooking for that family again?

Something that I have recently started doing in the past few years is taking meals to people.  I was surprised by how much I love to do this.  As recently as last Thursday and again yesterday I was able to help a family out by taking them meals.

It is crazy to think how much something as simple as a hot meal can mean to someone.  I never knew until we had Kathryn almost 2 years ago.  Within 2 days of bringing her home I was back in the hospital with a postpartum infection.  The wonderful women at Mackinaw Christian Church organized a weeks worth of hot meals to be delivered to us each night at supper time.  The following week my lifelong girlfriends and a few family members pitched in and carried us through another week.  Looking back I don't know how we would've made it through without their thoughtfulness.  While I'm sure we would've survived, it was such a wonderful outpour of love and was truly humbling for me.

After being blessed by all those meals, I wanted to give that gift to others.  I immediately asked to be put on the list at church to deliver meals to others in need and I started doing it for our friends.  Since finding a new church home I didn't realize how much I missed taking meals, until this week when I was able to do it for a family at our new church home.  It felt really good to cook for someone again, I only hope they enjoyed the meal half as much I enjoyed cooking it.

Something else I enjoy while cooking the meal is praying for those who will be receiving the food.  While I sometimes don't know them personally I still pray for them and ask God to bless them and protect them and if they don't know God that they would develop a personal relationship with Him. I thank God for them and remember how I have been blessed by them.

Thursday night I made the family a hot apple crisp and last night they got brownies.  Needless to say my family also wanted brownies, so I decided to surprise them with some tonight.   As I was pulling the brownies out of the oven Tannin looked at me and said "Are you cooking for that family again?"

Calling All Prayer Warriors

Matthew 18:19-20 "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

As you read this a wife of a distant relative of Andy's, Jill Bane, is fighting this horrible disease we call cancer. On January 16th, 2009, Parker and Jill welcomed baby Ella into this world. Shortly after Ella was born Jill was having complications and was transferred to Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis. It was there they discovered that she has Burkitt's Lymphoma, and her battle with cancer began.

Since her diagnosis Jill has overcome many obstacles and beaten many odds. She recently had a stem cell transplant, however the lymphoma is persisting and the Doctors fear that the graft won't be able to fight the cancer. I'm not a Doctor, no do I know a lot about how this medical stuff works. What I do know is that Satan is a liar and the God we serve is Mighty! Our God can do all things; for He is the Creator and the Mighty Healer.

Someone posted on the Bane's blog the following today:

CALL ALL PRAYER WARRIORS: Let's all continue to join our hands - symbolically - to form a prayer circle around Jill and her family. The challenge is to pray together at the same time - let's say 12 noon - and pray for a miracle.

Dear God, We implore Your powerful intercession to take this cancer from Jill's body. We ask for Your mercy to help Jill at this hour of need. Our prayers for this miracle are sincere and strong. We believe You are the Only True Healer of all things. In Your Holy Name we pray. Amen.

Deuteronomy 32:30 says, How could one man chase a thousand, or two put ten thousand to flight, unless their Rock had sold them, unless the LORD had given them up?

We are mighty in prayer, but we can be mightier when we join together. When we join in unity in prayer, we can do ten times as much as we can by ourselves. God's Word shows there is strength in unity, in many believers coming together as one. It is not that I believe that God answers many before one, but together we are stronger, have more faith joined together, and are more powerful.

Satan is a liar, and seeks to destroy us. When we hear that there is no hope that is Satan's lies. Our God is victorious, He has already won, we just need to stand strong in that victory and believe that God is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do.

So while I ask that you pray every day at 12 noon, I also ask that you pray without ceasing. Pray that God would move in Jill and there would be no question the healing came from His mighty hand. I ask that you pray for a miracle to be performed here on earth. That no matter what healing path He takes Jill on that He be glorified and more people would come to know Him as their Father because of Jill's battle. We ask healing for Jill in the name of Jesus.

Oh how I love Fall days

Oh how I love Fall.  It has to be my favorite season.  It seems that everyone else is complaining about the cool air, the rainy days and I can't get enough.  I wait all year for these few weeks.  It is sad that it doesn't last long enough.  Sometimes it seems as if we go straight from hot summer days to freezing winter days.

Maybe this is why the idea of moving to a different state is so intriguing to me.  I want to live somewhere with mild temperatures, no more extremes.  I mean seriously in the summer it can be in the 100's with super high humidity and the winters are below 0 with negative wind chills.

But today I get to enjoy a nice cool day, although the temperatures seem to be dropping pretty fast.  It is only 51, 60's would be so much better.  Curling up on the couch with a hot cup of apple cider, a book and a blazing fire is one of my favorite things to do.  I know, I can do that in the winter too, and don't get me wrong I enjoy the snow, for the first few days.  After that I'm done and don't want to deal with it for another year.  Which is why coming home to visit for Christmas would give me my snow fix for the year.

Another great things about fall is all the fun crafts and snacks.  I made my first apple crisp last week, oh the smell of an apple crisp in the oven.  It is better than any air freshener or candle you can buy in the store.  Yesterday we made caramel apples.  Unfortunately for Dakota his braces are prohibiting him from enjoying them this year, but he did get to enjoy the fun of making them.

 

And then there is hot apple cider.  I haven't had any yet this year, but I think we might walk to the store after lunch and get some.  I'm pretty sure I saw a lady with a gallon checking out at the Jewel the other day but I didn't have the time to go back and look for it.  That can be our afternoon adventure.  And if we get hot apple cider, you know a fire and blankets with books on the couch will follow.  One more benefit to homeschooling, instead of sitting at a cold metal desks in school reading, my babies will be curled up on the couch with me.